The Drowning

I want to punch the wall

but I can’t

I never do

So I beat my forearms until they wilt 

"That should be enough" I think 

"That should satisfy them" 

I’ve slept in 4 hour intervals for the last year and a half 

I’m worried when we meet again

you won’t think I’m pretty anymore

The Drowning

—Minimalist Poem

(the poem below audio reading)

it’s cool she said

I’m fine she said

let’s fuck she said

I’m fucked I said

it’s cool she said

bad luck she said

still good she said

I’m no good

you’re alright

I’m no good

It’s just one night  

let’s go I said

It’s cold I said

stay there she said

right there she said

Please don’t leave me?

Promise me that you wont leave she said

I can’t I said 

fuck she said

fuck fuck fuck she said

fuck this shit she said

I quit 

I’m done 

let go 

let’s go 

I’m sorry I said 

It’s fine she said

just drive she said 

Trying to write bloody Part 3

You want me to write bloody about my family
to describe my father with wax winds descending just as the kitchen chairs crescendo
or the thorns jutting out of my brother’s brambled throat when he told me
"You’re fat and you’re ugly and that’s why no one loves you."
you want to me to describe the room
where my mother saw me crippled in pain
how it hurt just to move
how she took a long look at me
as I was gasping and tearstained
and asked why I didn’t do the dishes
but there’s no point in it
because I’ll tell you a secret
I took both my legs in my hands
and I tossed them over the sofa
and though it took me a solid minute to reach the kitchen
I did the fucking dishes
Just like how I put my father to bed with a glass of water
when he got drunk and yelled at the neighbors
again
just like how I sign the birthday presents to my brother
with “I love you.”
even though it’s been 4 years since he got me one 
but I am not the son
I am the daughter
I am not a brother
I am a sister
And I can’t imagine
being anything other than that
I am not perfect
I am selfish and i am stubborn
but even I am not so stupid
as to curse my gods
everything I have
everything I am
I owe to them
for keeping me
Everything that happens
Everything I will be
I owe to them
for extending their family to me
even if it means
I spend the rest of my life
rocking back and forth between prayer
whispering
"I’m so sorry
please forgive me
I’m so sorry
please forgive me.”

Cathartic

I laugh a lot when I’m crying 

almost as much as when I’m angry 

and I think this really throws people 

but misery just has the best. sense of timing 

and yelling, is stressful, yes.

so you might ask why

I would want to bother with it

but when ever I see a screaming match

viens popping in the neck

I think about how blessed we are to be talking 

about something  

anything

other than “the weather”

I’ve been writing poems since I was 11. 

schmoyoho:

haleyscomett-art:

I FOUND IT

NO ONE BELIEVED ME WHEN I SAID I HEARD AN ICE CREAM TRUCK DROPIN BEATS DOWN THE STREET

NOW I HAVE A VID TO PROVE IT OMG I’M SO HAPPY I DIDN’T IMAGINE IT YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME

THAT DROP DO

(via hitrecordjoe)

k15h1:

Joanna Skrzypczak

k15h1:

Joanna Skrzypczak

These other boys are hood ornaments.

Fucking Useless, except maybe as collateral

from the families with chandeliers still dripping in their kitchens,

and (god forbid the neighbors see)

their prescriptions of adderall